The question that is always in the back of my mind when I create art is, what is this for? Who does this help? Will it make a difference to anyone else or is this just a self-gratifying hobby that I have? I don't make political statements with my work. I don't have religious calls to action. I don't have a 'cause' that I am trying to advocate. My work is abstract; how does this help anyone?
Not everyone is concerned about the impact their work has and they can be completely satisfied knowing that they are doing something for themselves and enjoying their time. Why is this not the case for me?
I don't have a complete answer yet, however, I found part of an answer recently.
Random train of thoughts...
Art is not happening as much as I would like.
It has been a long time since I have sat down and had time to write. I've been LOVING this summer, probably because last summer I had a tiny human that needed me and I wasn't able to enjoy my summer so this year, oh man, we have been doing all of the things!
So I sit here with time and think, what do I write about? What do you want to know, what do I want to share?
A part of me has been un-inspired the past few months. I'm in a lull. They happen to all artists and so as I'm in this moment I've been asking myself the question, 'Why does inspiration matter?'
Here are several things that came to mind.
Things that I'm NOT good at:
Keeping in touch with people
Trying new things
Being social in a large group, or sometimes even at all
Can you relate to any of these?
Let's be honest. My process is a little all over the place. Am I painting? Am I collaging? What's with all the scraps everywhere? What about the photography stuff? What are you doing with your life Amy!?!
It's fine. Here's what I know has been working for me so far.
I was recently going through some of my images when I came across this photo. I’ve looked at this photo dozens of times but it wasn’t until recently that I remembered the storm that followed right after I took this shot.
When I first started painting I struggled a lot with letting go of my photography. It has been everything I’ve known for such a long time and it has been such a core part of my identity that I felt like a fraud for even attempting to try something different. I worried that if I started painting it meant that I was throwing away all that I knew about photography. All the experiences, all the knowledge I had gained, and the hours I had put into it-which looking back meant years of my life! Was I ready to throw that all away for something I barely knew anything about?
I’ve been thinking a lot about trusting time. What does that mean? For me it means being ok with we’re I am even when it’s not where I want to be.
In times past I’ve had moments where I really wanted something and I wanted that something now. But I had to wait. Often years later I would receive the thing I wanted so badly but in a different way then I expected.
Recently I’ve had several people comment that they don’t know how I have the time to make art with two small children. From a different perspective it seems like somehow I have so much free time. Let me tell you friends, this is NOT the case!
I have to fight for time to create art everyday.
Make those mistakes. Make them all the time. Make at least a few every day. Make mistakes part of your practice.
Oh Hey! it's me, Amy
These are stories about my art, experiences I've had in my career, and some other fun stuff too. I will probably overshare, I can't help it when I'm writing. Get cozy, these are great rainy day reads!