I’ve been thinking a lot about trusting time. What does that mean? For me it means being ok with we’re I am even when it’s not where I want to be.
In times past I’ve had moments where I really wanted something and I wanted that something now. But I had to wait. Often years later I would receive the thing I wanted so badly but in a different way then I expected.
For example, in college there was a study abroad during the summer in Scotland just for the photography students. If I remember correctly it was for about two weeks, they stayed in a castle that was equipped with a darkroom and other photography accommodations. What a dream right!?! Photography heaven!
But I didn’t have the money to go. I looked over my finances and thought long and hard. I wanted to go but the only way I could would be to take out a student loan. In the end I didn’t feel like it was worth taking out the loan so I didn’t go.
The following semester I remember many of my friends who had gone on this study abroad together rave about how amazing it was and how I should have been there. I felt like I missed my chance, to have the experience to travel, to be with everyone else. It was hard and I questioned if I made the right choice.
Fast forward a few years. I had graduated college without any debt and I was finally able to save money. I had a dear friend who invited me to travel to Europe with her during the summer and although we didn’t go to Scotland we went to several different countries in Europe. It was an amazing experience, even better then the one I thought I wanted had I done study abroad.
Right now I’m at a pivotal moment in my art journey. I recognize that I gave up a really great career to have a family. I often miss that career and being apart of a creative team and working on large scale projects. Sometimes my Art brain thinks, was that the right choice? Will I ever get to have a similar fulfilling career again? It’s painful to think about because I don’t have an answer.
But, I’m trusting time.
I’m trusting that this time of scarcity with my art, will just be part of a larger picture that I can’t see. I’m trusting that if I keep working at things, even at a snails pace, time will welcome me back one day to something even greater then what I had before. I don’t know what that will be or how things will work out, but I’m putting my trust in time rather then trying to fight with it or worry about it.
I trust you time. You’ve been good to me in the past and I know you will take care of my future as well.
Oh Hey! it's me, Amy
These are stories about my art, experiences I've had in my career, and some other fun stuff too. I will probably overshare, I can't help it when I'm writing. Get cozy, these are great rainy day reads!